The advertising world of perfume and fragrance is a fascinating one, however, in many of today's ads (as in today's movies), gentle "affection and romance" are sorely missing. Why? Who creates these ads (and films) so lacking in sensitivity and romance? View any film today and the closest thing you get to a man embracing a woman tenderly is when they both jump from a burning building while holding hands just before it explodes. Gone are the days of a Gary Cooper or a Cary Grant actually embracing a woman and gently whispering to her that he loves her. One of my students recently pointed out to me that in most "nit-wit" sit-coms today, the asinine characters no longer say things like, "Oh, my God!".... It's now officially, "Oh, my gosh!" Has romance too been banned from the airways and advertising?

Do you remember the Greek myth about Narcissus, the young boy who was so enamored with himself? Each day he would look into a pond and gaze at his own reflection. One day a small cloud overhead dropped rain into the pond and distorted his image. Narcissus thought he was becoming ugly and began to cry. His tears fell into the pond and further distorted his image, until, despairing, he threw himself into the water and drowned. This was self -love/self- gratification at its worst.

The ancient Greeks were terrific at analyzing the human experience. Witness their view of love. Remember, the Greeks held three degrees of love. Eros was a simple innocent "physical attraction" which every relationship begins with, hence the word "erotic," although the Greeks would tell us that while every relationship begins this way, they knew it often ended there as well. (I think the term "Eros" has denigrated today to the vacuous meaning "eye-candy"). "Philia" was the second degree of love which was a general or "brotherly love" which we should all feel toward mankind-hence the word "Philadelphia,"... "the city of brotherly love." "Agape" was the highest form of love,.... a "sacrificial love" between two people. So where am I going with this? Which of the above Greek words for "love" are featured in many of today's ads?

Fragrance is an art form and like many art forms such as music, poetry and art itself, these things should "inspire and elevate" us and take us to a higher level. With this in mind, I began reviewing (studying) some of the recent print and television spots for fragrance, more specifically, ads for perfume and cologne. Some are very good; others not so. "Love" in the form of "sexuality," sensuality, or "basic animal instinct" ( he with six-pack abs and just slightly unbuttoned jeans and she with her G- string lingere) are often staples on the characters in these ads. That's fine, I guess. But the subtle gentleness between the sexes is rarely featured. Like Narcissus, too many ads feature only the sensual, the erotic (sex sells), or "love of self" or "self centeredness" exclusively. It's malignant narcissism.

Here are a few examples, but more importantly, what is it that they are selling?

Name that product:

Sample 1: A television commercial not too long ago featured an attractive woman entering her beautiful apartment (long shot). As she walks toward the camera, she first throws her fur wrap down and then tears a necklace from her throat and tosses it to the floor in anger. Remember that one?

Can you name the perfume that was being featured?......I thought not.

Whatever the fragrance, is this what we are to suppose to associate with that item-a bad night out with a sour attitude as well for the crowning glory? Nice. ( Everyman's dream of the ideal, confident, self assured ("bitch"?) woman.

Sample 2: A magazine ad for a men's cologne features a well tanned man of bronze (who could double as Antonio Banderas with slicked back wet hair) wearing what is supposed to be a white bathing suit but more resembles underwear, both arms tucked behind his head thus exposing his armpits while floating in a rubber dingy off the coast of Capri. So.....is it a travel ad for Italy or an ad for Jockey shorts? No. Could it be an ad for tanning lotion?

You've seen the ad.... so...name that product?

What are they selling? Confidence? Narcissism?

Sample 3: A magazine ad features a naked woman sitting upright on the floor with both knees drawn up to her chin thus concealing her breasts but with both legs at the ankles agape. A bottle of cologne is concealing what would otherwise be her exposed vagina. Nice....Real classy. That's something we should all want to associate our product with.

There is not a shred of romance in any of the aforementioned ads -- only self indulgence, anger, or self centeredness. Why is that? In a past article, I wrote that Herman Melville, in discussing the mystical properties of water in his novel Moby Dick, wrote, "If Niagara were a cataract of sand, would you travel a thousand miles to see it?

The same is true with perfume and cologne. If the magic of "romance" is gone or missing, is it really all about "myself"?

I truly believe that "the mystical" or "the romantic" is a crucial ingredient in the successful sale of fragrance. People all want to love and be loved. They can identify more with that than with anger or self centeredness or self indulgence represented in a product's commercials/ads which is why on my website I like to feature ads and videos of "couples" enjoying a "moment together" even if merely a "sunset", the most simplistic and yet most complex thing of beauty and romance.

Perhaps industry leaders in the future will give us more " romance" and less "erotic." Romance....Sine qua non. ( an essential thing or condition).